20 Topics to Discuss Before You Get Married

October 02, 2014  •  Leave a Comment

Getting married is a major life milestone! There are so many details to discuss - and while you're at it, don't forget these 20 topics that will weigh heavily in how you live the rest of your life with the love of your life.

  1. CHILDREN - Marriage means you are starting a family, a joining of two people into a single family. This may be a tender subject to bring up but important, nonetheless. Respect each others preferences and if you cannot live with them, don't venture into that realm.
  2. MONEY - Life costs money. You both need to have an understanding on how to handle money. Don't forget to include your savings.
  3. FAMILY - Each of us has extended families. Have you met them? Do you like them? It's time to decide your boundaries.
  4. GOALS - Career? Lifestyle? We need to know and agree where we are going so we both know how to arrive at the same place and hopefully at the same time.
  5. LOCATION - What's the plan after you get married? Your place? His place?  Where will you live?
  6. VACATIONS - Where do you dream of going? It's not going to be much fun if he has a camping trip planned and you are dreaming of a luxury hotel in Bali.
  7. RELIGION - It's more than a belief system, it's holidays, it's family, it's children. Differences should be decided upon.
  8. PAST RELATIONSHIPS - This might prove to be a different comfort level for each of you but it's better to get it out in the open before something unexpected comes to light.
  9. SECRETS- Time to come clean. Sharing the rest of your life with someone means that eventually EVERYTHING will come out. Telling those secrets means you'll sleep better than hiding them for the next decade or five.
  10. FAITHFULNESS - These are vows you are taking.  Not just to each other, but in front of family and usually invoking religious laws. Hopefully, you both have agreed to the level you expect from each other.
  11. VALUES - Everyone has their own set of values. Prioritize what is important to you and then decide which you will share as a family.
  12. SHOWING LOVE - Words, or action? What will you do to keep each other interested and yourself interesting?
  13. CHORES - Yup! Who is going to do what?
  14. BUDGET - Don't just discuss but actively participate to put it all together. Clearly state how extra money at the end of the month is spent.
  15. QUALITY TIME- Yes, it is what you make it.  Date night could be shared interests (such as a football game) or a dinner out; but discuss how you will spend your time together.
  16. PARENTING- Here's a stickler. Decide now what level of style you will both embrace to bring children to a healthy adulthood
  17. HOW TO FIGHT - Do it fairly. Need time out or need resolution? No dirty fighting!
  18. FORGIVENESS- What is unforgivable? What can be forgiven? Sort this out now.
  19. TRUST- What are the issues that threaten your trust in each other?
  20. JEALOUSY- What are the things that make you jealous? What can you do to help each other through?

Many things to discuss - - it's really not that scary, it's just important that you each know where the other stands and come to an understanding of one another.

Just another piece of great advice from a wedding photographer. Think about hiring someone to help you memorialize your wedding with a deep understanding of what's involved. This is a responsibility I take very seriously. Call me for your free consultation.


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